Tonight I say goodbye to the two little pieces of glass that have been perched on my nose for the past few months – ever since the day late last year when my eyes decided that the contact lenses that had been treating me so well for so long would no longer be an option. Of course I’ll likely need reading glasses in a few years ,because apparently old age is going to get you no matter how hard you try, but I’ll take the compromise if it means:

• I spend just one less minute trying to remove that annoying smudge that predictably appears in the center of my vision.
• I no longer have to wish for teeny tiny little windshield wipers every time I walk out my door in Portland – possibly the rainiest place on earth. You think I exaggerate? It has rained 23 out of the past 24 days.
• I no longer have to wonder if the blur through the camera lens is because the camera is out of focus or because I inadvertently looked over the top of my glasses while getting the frame.
• I can wear sunglasses again (yippee!)
• I can swim, run, cycle, dance and do somersaults without having to worry that my glasses will fly off my face – not that I do any of these things on a regular basis, but it’s nice to know that I now have the freedom.

I won’t be able to touch my eyes for an entire week which I’m sure will be no easy task in the middle of allergy season (I tried it yesterday and lasted about 15 minutes) and I’m not allowed to wear mascara during that time either (the most horrifying part of all).

But I’m prepared.

I got my new drivers license photo taken today before the mascara restriction begins, removing my glasses first of course. And I have a plan to milk what little simpathy I can get from my loving family. Oh, and I have a Karaoke night on the schedule for tomorrow so I can really test drive the new peepers. Who knows? A whole new world of lyrics might be revealed.

So wish me luck tonight. Actually, wish my surgeon luck. No, not luck. He shouldn’t need luck. Scratch that. Wish him lots of skill and a steady hand.

And pray they don’t run out of Xanax before I get there.