Daily Archives: July 23, 2008

Cautiously Grateful

The internet is an amazing thing. I can read about the lives of strangers who live far across the world with incredibly ordinary yet strangely interesting things to say about love and family and happiness and…loss. It seems that in the past few months I have come across a number of blogs written by women with young families who have experienced a loss I fear most… the loss of a child. Reading these blogs makes me feel so many things – awe at the strength of these parents, absolute sadness that makes me want to cry and completely and utterly thankful for my own situation. It also makes me aware of how quickly things can change and how grateful I must be for every moment when my boys are happy and healthy and developing normally.

I am grateful for the miracle of breastfeeding. That I can nourish my child and that he is thriving on that nourishment.

I am grateful for the fact that I can hold my boys and cuddle them and kiss them – because I know many parents don’t immediately have this opportunity, if at all.

I am grateful that I can change their diapers (can’t believe I just put that in writing).

I am grateful for the little miracles that I experience every day. When Samuel coos and smiles, when Thomas uses a new word or recognizes his own name written on a piece of paper.

I am grateful that they are here.

I have a friend. She is 44 years old and trying to have a second child after many years of infertility. Her first pregnancy was a true miracle through IVF. A few days ago her husband was telling us about their visits to the fertility doctor. The doctor told them that they had a 2% chance of getting pregnant. The irony, he said, was that when he was young he saw that 2% risk warning on a box of condoms as a risk worth taking and that his chances of getting a girl pregnant were very low. Now he sees 2% as a glimmer of hope. 2% means it CAN happen. That for every 100 couples of their age with fertility problems, 2 of them will get pregnant.

When I was pregnant with Samuel decided to have a test that would provide us with a probablity that he would be born with Downs Syndrome. We took the same test with Thomas and the results were comforting – a 1 in 700 chance which set our minds at ease. With Samuel the results were not comforting – a 1 in 100 chance. For me that meant that for every 100 couples who got this result, one couple would have child with Downs. I found that oddly comforting. The odds were in our favour. Yet I had this strange ache in the depths of my heart for that one couple who had to have child with problems so that the statistics would support our dream of a healthy child.

Yet I have another friend who has a friend with Downs Syndrome and one day she said to me “you don’t know what it is to reach a milestone until you have worked and worked for months to achieve it. Nothing beats that feeling.”

So today I am going to remain grateful for every day that my family is happy and healthy and here. Cautiously grateful… because I am all too aware that fate could choose to swoop in and mess with the delicate balance of life. I only hope that if it were to happen, that I would have as much honesty and

Today I am feeling truly inspired.

Camping 2008 – Day 3

Sunday – Time to pack up and go home. But not before some more fun.

Climbing Trees and growling like a lion.

Eating chocolate bananas. A throwback to my childhood camping days. I suppose this is the Aussie version of s’mores (and SO much better).

To make these, simply cut a slit in a banana. Do not cut the whole way through the banana, just enough to make an opening where you can insert little pieces of chocolate (in this case Trader Joe’s belgiun chocolate bars – yum!). Wrap the banana in foil and then put it on some coals in the fire. (It’s important to put the banana on coals. If you put it in the flames the chocolate will burn). Leave it for about 7 or 8 minutes and then take it out and open up the foil. The chocolate should have melted and the banana will be all mushy so you can mix it together. It should look something like this.

Eat it up with a spoon and enjoy! These were a huge hit with the adults and the kids and is set to become a new camping tradition.

One last visit to the beach and time to make sand candles with Deek (sounds like a children’s TV show). To make these we dug a hole in the sand, hung a wick in the hole – tied to a stick to hold it in place, and then filled it with hot wax (which Deek melted over a portable stove). Then we waited for the wax to cool and dug the candle out of the sand. I think we may have a candle lighting ceremony tonight. 🙂 Some challenges to consider when doing this with toddlers: don’t dig the holes too early before the wax has melted because the temptation to fill in the hole is VERY strong. Create a protective barrier of parents around the hot wax holes to prevent any wax-related injuries.

And most importantly…Keep the kids occupied while the wax cools…

…By hitting them with a large ball. They LOVE it!

And then running around with them on your back. But not sure I would recommend doing this when you are 6 months pregnant (Chris – I am talking to you!).

And just sitting around enjoying the sunshine while the freezing cold wind whips at your face. The dog’s name is Foster. He is so beautiful and gentle that it almost made me want to get a dog. Almost.

Then we headed back to camp for the final cleanup before heading home.

Other Observations from the day.

  • When you dream about someone offering you a breathmint then it’s definitely time for some attention to personal hygiene.
  • Don’t sweat it when someone spills coffee all over your clothes on the very last day of camping. It may actually make you smell better.
  • Cleaning up is never fun.
  • You WILL take half the beach home with you no matter how much you try to shake the sand off everything.
  • Nothing feels as good as a shower and sleeping in a tent makes you truly appreciate your own bed.

I feel like I was away for a month instead of just a few days (and the laundry pile supports that). As hard as it is camping with two small children (especially at bedtime), it was worth just a few days to get away from it all, spend some quality time with family and good friends and come back to the city feeling a little refreshed.